Having a picky eater is such a pain! You can suddenly find yourself completely obsessing about what they eat, endlessly keeping a mental tally of what’s goes into their mouth. Before you know it you’re forever negotiating and resorting to pleading, bribing and threatening to get your child to eat.
Don’t worry if this sounds like you. There’s a lot you can do about it.
Karen’s Simple Solutions – How to get your fussy child to eat:
Stop and Think
Don’t talk about what your child is eating and don’t coax them to eat; the less attention you give them for not eating, the better. Tell yourself that taking the pressure off isn’t going to be a disaster. When they’re hungry, they’ll eat.
But don’t be surprised if they keep trying to drag you into a power struggle. If they’re used to food being the focus of attention at the table, it will take them a bit of time to get used to the new regime.
Know Yourself
Keep your worries away from the table and, if you possibly can, stop clocking every bite they take out of the corner of your eye. This is often MUCH easier said than done.
Instead of focusing on your concerns (what your children are eating or not eating) try focusing on your children and something that interests them. They’re likely to eat more if there is a better atmosphere at the table.
Try:
“I saw that goal you made today. It was great.”
“Have you got any ideas what you’d like to do this weekend?”
Listen
Listen and acknowledge you hear what they say about food. If you acknowledge what they say, they’re likely to stop complaining sooner because they can stop trying to convince you.
This is what I mean:
Child:
“I hate rice. I’m not eating it!”
Parent:
“I see. You don’t like rice.”
Child:
“No I said I HATE it!”
Parent:
“Oh. I see. You absolutely hate it. You wish it wasn’t on the table and you don’t want to eat it.”
Don’t cave in and prepare something else. Just acknowledge what they’ve said. They may be so surprised you’ve listened that they surprise you back and try it.
Look After
Feed your children good food. Put only good healthy food on the table, so even if they only eat three mouthfuls they’re getting some of the nutrients they need. Likewise, if they take heaps of something, make sure you’ve only served food you are happy for them to tuck into.
Bribing with pudding is another nightmare. Do yourself a favour and don’t go there; children shouldn’t have to eat to earn food. Instead, put sliced fruit out for dessert and let them help themselves if they want some. Even if they haven’t eaten any dinner, the fruit is full of vitamins.
The happiest tables are those where the food is placed the middle and everyone is allowed to help themselves. There is generally a good atmosphere, and with no pressure the children usually eat happily.
Stop and Think
Don’t label your children Picky Eaters. Don’t talk about how badly your child eats, however worried you feel. If they overhear you, they’ll begin to see themselves that way too, which makes it much harder for them to change.
Only after the power struggle has ended, you’ve stopped focusing on whether they are eating or not, and you no longer have that desperate edge to your voice, can you casually say things at the dinner table like,
“I wish everyone would eat some green things.”
Remember, if they choose not to have any, just leave it. It’s not worth getting sucked into a drama about it.
Photo © Bruce Tuten – CC BY 2.0
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