Karen's Crash Course in Kids

I’m Karen and my Crash Course in Kids will help you solve any parenting problem. I’m a bestselling parenting author and I’ve given talks and appeared on TV and radio throughout the UK, helping thousands to be better parents. I had my own four children, 3 girls and a boy, in five years. So I am no stranger to double nappy changes, multiple children wanting help with homework and all four of them needing to be at different places at the same time. I went to parenting classes for years and read everything I could get my hands on. I […]

My first solution is to Stop and Think. We all know what it’s like when our child is being a nightmare. Those times when we wonder why we didn’t just get a dog. What with the whinging, the arguing and the noise – it’s impossible to think straight! And that’s the point. When our children make us feel like we’re ready to combust, we don’t need to react straight away and detonate the situation. We can Stop and give ourselves time to Think, and carry out a controlled explosion instead. Whether they’re being rude, refusing to help out or tormenting […]

This solution is to Listen. This is a miracle-working nugget! When our children wind us up and we’re Thinking what to do, a whopping 90% of the time our best option is to Listen and acknowledge we hear what they say. It’s really that simple! I know. Listening when they behave badly feels all wrong. Like we’re loser parents and we’re letting them get away with it. But trust me. Listening actually gives us control. Here’s why: when our children feel understood, things calm down and then they’re likely to do what we asked them to in the first place. […]

This solution is to Appreciate. We’re all going to have those moments when our child’s behaviour is more like Horrid Henry than Peter Pan; some of us more often than others. Of course it’s our job to set them straight. But, surprisingly, one of the best ways to do it is to focus on the things they do right instead of the things they do wrong. Here’s why: We all know one of the main reasons children misbehave is to get our attention. That’s because they want our attention more than anything. Seriously, they’d rather we’re annoyed with them, than […]

This solution is to Love and Look After. Like adults, when children don’t feel Loved, they can feel lonely and insecure, and these feelings can be the root of bad behaviour. It may be easy to be kind and hug and kiss our children – when they’re well-behaved; so much harder when they’re not. But children need to feel Loved and secure, even when they’re a pain. Once everyone’s calm, getting right back to normal and kissing them goodnight or as they leave for school, helps children realise that we Love them regardless and that arguments aren’t catastrophic. Does your […]

This solution is to Cooperate. If we always have all the answers, our children don’t get the chance to try to express themselves or solve problems. Even though it’s much easier and far more efficient to do everything ourselves, like the cooking, it can be far better to Cooperate, and let our children have a go. That way, they learn how to do thing and they gain the confidence that comes with competence. We don’t have to be anything-goes Boho parents. But if we stay open-minded and respect everyone’s views, our children get the chance to learn wonderful life skills. […]

This solution is to Discipline. You may be wondering why I didn’t start with Discipline. When our children misbehave, isn’t Discipline the answer? Perhaps. But once we’re Stopping and Thinking, Listening, Appreciating, Cooperating, and Loving and Looking After our children, they’re FAR more likely to feel we’re on their side. And that makes Discipline a thousand times easier. Happy days! So, what’s our best shot at getting our children to do what we ask? Instead of swooping down and ordering them to turn off the computer NOW, it works far better if they know the rule ahead of time. Like […]

This solution is to Organise. Life is so much easier when we can find things and we plan ahead. We can get a tonne more done, and we can help our children stay on top of their responsibilities like finding their homework and getting the right kit to school on the right day. And we avoid those last minute panics that are so stressful. I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed. When my children were little I had to keep moving or my to-do list would get so out of control it would take me days to catch up. […]

My final solution is to Know Yourself. It’s easy to forget that we’re the other half of the parent-child relationship, and that looking after ourselves is just as important as looking after them. If we feel well, we’re better able to look after them, so they’ll feel well. Just like on an airplane when they tell us we should put on our oxygen masks before we help our children with theirs. Some of us are most fulfilled when looking after our families. Others when we have more time to ourselves. We’re all different so there isn’t one right formula here. […]